The Real World's Bruno AKA The Hulk

So, we haven't had the blog up long enough to cover this season of Real World: Skeletons properly, but it's been an entertaining season. Last year, with Real World: Ex-plosion, MTV changed the formula for the series. No longer was Real World just about 7-8 strangers living in a house and raging face for weeks on end (the show is struggling, so a change is not surprising). The MTV producers decide that wasn't quite real enough, and that digging up people from the cast's past (their exes and their assorted skeletons, obviously) in order to stir up extra drama. And it has worked to perfection. This season, there's been the usually shenanigans (being drunk all the damned time, hooking up with roommates, etc.). But there have also been estranged siblings, ex-lovers, mortal enemies, no-show fathers and more. All of this is terrifyingly real material. But the most terrifying thing on the entire show is Bruno's rage. Bruno had not spoken to his estranged brother in over two years over an argument...about...I'll just let Bruno explain:

In honor of Bruno's uncontrollable temper, I'm going to list off the five most ridiculous things that have set Bruno off this season:

1.  Someone eating his 4th hamburger:

"I love burgers. I need it, that's my source of protein. I'm trying to put my size back on and be more in the gym. My plan is to eat three now, and save one for later." - Bruno

Steroids will only add so much more size on to your body. You also need to get your protein. Three burgers IS NOT ENOUGH! ONLY FOUR WILL DO!!! AHHH AHHH AHHHHHHH HULLLLLKKKKK SMASSSSSHHHHH!!!!!

If you didn't get it yet, don't mess with Bruno's food.


2  Sylvia lightheartedly smacking Bruno on the chest:

I'm sure everyone has been smacked on the chest like this. Obviously, it's not super pleasant, but it doesn't really hurt. I doubt Bruno could feel it in his roided up pecs. So, in response, he gets vocal. He tells Sylvia, "Go make out with cornballs, you clown" (is that even an insult?). And of course, he gets physical and throws a punch in Sylvia's general direction (unhinging a light on the ceiling of the van). Luckily he misses, storms out of the van, and starts doing wind sprints to cool off. Freaky loony toon.


3. Tony asking his brother to help him take Bruno down after he almost punched Sylvia in the face:

I love how Tony's brother is sticking up for him there. I don't love how Tony is totally cowering behind his kid brother. I'm not sure the combination of Tony and Fabulous Blond Tony can take Bruno though. Especially if Fabulous Blond Bruno decides to get involved.


4.  His girlfriend, Carla, trying to pick up the check:

Pride is one thing. Breaking up with your girlfriend because she wanted to surprise you with a fancy dinner probably means you don't deserve such a sweet girlfriend. Bruno, you're 24, and who knows if you're even employed. Let your smart, sexy, adult girlfriend with a real job pick up the tab.


5.  Violetta calling him a 'wannabe Bruno Mars' and saying 'bye' in potentially the most annoying way 'bye' has ever been said:

This:

Prompted this:

To recap, Violetta call Bruno a 'wannabee Bruno Mars' for literally no reason other than Real World Bruno and Bruno Mars sharing a first name. Sure, V was acting like a child. But calling her a 'stupid dumb cunt' and an 'ugly anorexic bitch' is absolutely insane. I love how V just continues yelling "Buhhh-yeeee", despite her life being in actual danger. Typical drunk person reaction.


Really, what we've learned this is season is that security on Real World has really been lackadaisical. It's almost as if they want Bruno to hit someone. While it'd make for great TV, maybe jump into action just a little bit earlier. I don't want to see Bruno hit a girl on this show. We've come close twice. MTV really seems to be pushing the limit this season, probably in attempt to save the show long term. There's one episode left, and MTV is pulling out the big guns. The promos seem to suggest that Jason's absentee father and Madison's boyfriend she got addicted to heroin with are coming into the house, in what is sure to be a dramatic and emotional finale. Things are about to get real.